How to Be Productive When Depressed (for Parents)
Parenting is hard. Depression makes it much harder. Trying to parent when experiencing depression can be crippling. Your kids are relying on you but the internal exhaustion, low motivation, and feelings of hopelessness that come with depression make family obligations and responsibilities seem insurmountable.
However, maintaining some sense of routine and productivity—no matter how small—is crucial during seasons of low moods. With compassion and the right coping strategies in place, you can get through the fog of depression while still showing up for your children and loved ones. Here’s how to be productive when depressed as a parent.
1. Give Yourself Grace
First, it's important to accept this situation with self-compassion rather than judgment or unrealistic expectations of yourself. Depression* is a legitimate mental health condition that affects 21 million adults in the United States. More than 10% of moms have experienced postpartum depression that lasts up to 6 months after giving birth, accompanied by feelings of withdrawal, anger, and guilt.
As a parent who’s depressed, there may inevitably be days, possibly weeks or months, where simply getting out of bed feels like a monumental challenge. This doesn’t mean you’re an inherently bad parent.
Don't beat yourself up for phases where you can't operate at 100%. That's setting the bar far too high. Instead, celebrate small wins and embrace doing the bare minimum that any given day allows. If all you can muster is getting dressed, having a few decent moments with your kids, and cooking a basic meal, that's a victory worth honoring. Keep taking it one step at a time and remember, this will pass.
2. Communicate With Your Loved Ones
One of the most proactive things you can do when depressed is to have open, honest conversations with your closest loved ones and support system about what you're going through. Depression often makes us want to withdraw and isolate ourselves, but that only perpetuates the cycle. Instead, lean on the people who care about you during this difficult period.
Let your partner, family members, or friends know that you're struggling right now, and don't be afraid to ask for extra help or patience. Explain how certain days feel impossible while reassuring them that you're doing your best. A strong support crew can emotionally and practically make all the difference.
And don't forget to have age-appropriate conversations with your children about your mental health challenges too. Kids are incredibly perceptive and often pick up on the emotions of parents. It’s better to acknowledge the situation and let them know it’s not their fault or their responsibility to make you feel better.
3. Embrace Simple Routines and Schedules
When you're depressed, having a predictable routine with external accountability can be grounding and motivating. It's easy to spend entire days or weeks completely unproductive otherwise.
Start small by committing to an easy-to-follow, consistent schedule. For example:
Wake up
Brush teeth
Get dressed
Eat something
You don’t have to wake up at 5 a.m. every day but try to do your routines around the same hour consistently. Sleep and your circadian rhythm play a big role in depressive symptoms, so it’s important to facilitate a sense of order in this part of life.
A visual calendar and shared scheduling tool can help reinforce this routine and manage family expectations on both good and bad days. Block out must-do obligations like getting the kids ready for school, plus any self-care practices that help provide depression relief. Checking off simple tasks may also provide a small sense of accomplishment.
At the same time, don't overstuff your schedule beyond your current mental and physical capacities. Flexibility and adjusting expectations will likely be necessary until your symptoms improve. The routine itself is the goal, not necessarily achieving a packed agenda.
4. Outsource and Automate
When depression impacts your everyday life, you simply can't expect to take on the same level of responsibilities and workload as when you're feeling healthier both mentally and physically. This is where learning to outsource obligations and automate processes can be an act of responsibility. Identify any non-essential duties that can be eliminated, minimized, or reassigned to others for the time being.
For household chores and tasks, ask your partner if they can take things off your plate. For larger recurring duties like cleaning or grocery shopping, hire affordable outside help when possible. Invest in convenient services like grocery delivery, meal kits, or a house cleaning crew to reduce daily life overhead.
Streamline through automation as well. Leverage any available technology to simplify and combine tasks. For example, a family management and scheduling app can centralize things like chore assignments, meal planning, and shared calendars all in one place.
5. Seek Professional Support
While the self-care tips and strategies here can certainly help cope with mild or moderate depressive episodes, it's crucial to prioritize professional mental health support as well. Work with your doctor or therapist to develop an individualized treatment plan incorporating methods like:
Therapy: Psychotherapy is a highly effective intervention for depression and can help you cultivate coping mechanisms that change unhelpful thought patterns.
Medication: Antidepressants and other prescribed medication may be recommended to help mitigate your symptoms and boost brain chemistry related to motivation and mood. It can take several weeks to notice the effects. Always talk with your doctor and take medication as prescribed.
Lifestyle Changes: Look into lifestyle adjustments like improved sleep, nutrition, exercise, healthy hobbies, meditation, bodywork, or other supportive modalities that help lift your depression.
Managing depression often involves a blend of multiple professional-guided techniques and coping tools. Be patient, persistent, and lean on your support system through the process. Depression doesn't have to be forever. With time and the right help, you can find your way back to full productivity and joy.
Family Management and Communication Tools for Struggling Parents
Depression can feel like a dark, overwhelming haze at times— especially as a parent trying to keep up with the daily grind. However, with compassion towards yourself and a strategic approach, you can navigate through depressive episodes and still stay meaningfully engaged in family life as much as you're able.
Stay as productive as you can by letting go of perfectionism, communicating your struggles, establishing supportive routines, and putting your mental health as a top priority. Use helpful tools like the Family Daily app to help manage family obligations and communicate daily expectations with loved ones during this difficult period. Download the app today to get a free trial.
*This blog is for informational purposes only and is not to be used as a substitute for medical advice.
